I'm trying to get out of a haze. So many influences have crept up in my life over the past few years that I find myself tugged into pieces, disconnected from the whole. Education has humbled me. Left me dumb. Work has stripped away earlier revolutionary ideas. Pain has made me cautious of really being open.

I'm what Gladwell calls a connector. I'vea long list of people I know, places I've been, experiences I've had. But if I think about knowing, I have to ask myself is it really possibly to know everything deeply? The resounding answer is no. The circle must be small if it is going to be strong. My A.D.D. lifestyle of thirty second soundbites and commercials leaves me with a lot of numb data and no real knowledge.

But I still love all of it. The chaos. The vivid colors that shoot past me. New flavors that wind their way through my senses. Odysseus' words in Ulyssees speak power to me.

"I cannot rest from travel; I will drink
Life to the lees. All times I have enjoy'd
Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vext the dim sea. I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known,-- cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honor'd of them all,--
And drunk delight of battle with my peers,
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'
Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!
As tho' to breathe were life! Life piled on life
Were all too little, and of one to me
Little remains; but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought."